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So. New Total Recall

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1 So. New Total Recall on 2013-04-27, 22:23

Was garbage. No awesome one liners. No Mars. No actual reasonable storyline. And no physics.

Why was Australia and Britain the only ones to survive a massive world wide chemical attack? I mean besides the damn plot device of The Fall. Which, by the way, is the most ridiculously stupid name for the thing. That same thing that wasn't explained what the hell The Fall was until a quarter way into the movie. You see people going "The Fall enslaves us" and stuff and you go "WTF is The Fall?" Especially when it is depicted in the graffiti next to it as a person falling.

Now. That whole Fall enslaves us thing would have been a much better, more reasonable plot. Like using it continues the chemical air that circulates the "No zone". Which is another dumbass name. Instead. We get a plot where the "bad guy" wants to wipe out the entirety of The Colony. Which has two major flaws to it. One is that it's the entire freaking work force of the planet. Last I checked, you need those people. Numero dos is that what the Hell do you plan on doing after that? You never get it explained and they buy your crap. Total economic collapse with that whole plan.

Why does the bad guy have a non synthetic army if the synthetic one is so much more superior to the fleshy meat sacks?

So... What I'm saying is that the original is an 8.5/10 while this one is about a 5/10. A typical boring modernized sci-fi movie.

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2 Re: So. New Total Recall on 2013-04-27, 23:19

Yeah I agree.
I would say it's actually worse than your 5/10 score. There were also several other completely nonsensical plot/fiction problems with it. I didn't even bother to finish watching it. Turned it off with maybe the last 20 minutes still to go. It was that bad.


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3 Re: So. New Total Recall on 2013-04-28, 07:31

I'll be honest, I only watched it for Beckinsale.

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4 Re: So. New Total Recall on 2013-04-28, 09:11

Oh. I forgot to mention how the movie doesn't believe in physics. That whole train thing would be putting out so many g forces that it would have smooshed the people. Cohegan would have been thrown upward while the Fall was falling at the end, same with everyone not strapped in then and earlier, then they all would have came crashing down when the Fall smashed into the side of the big ass hole.

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5 Re: So. New Total Recall on 2013-04-28, 12:56

Hey, they did leave in the very important lady with three boobies.

Very important.


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